Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
