I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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