I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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