Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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