I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
