K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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