Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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