just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
