well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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