about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
