I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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