What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
