ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
