You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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