I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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