The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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