When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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