Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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