I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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