Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
