Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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