i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
