she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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