the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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