me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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