i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
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I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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