okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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