No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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