they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
