This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
