i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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