There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
