Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
