And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
