My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize