Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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