I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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