she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
