Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
