Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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