In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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