i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
