just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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