it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
