She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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