fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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