A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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