there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
