...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have feelings that need drinking.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
