My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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