their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
