as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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