im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
