i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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