I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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