On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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