There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
