you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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