Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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