This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
