i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We left an ass print on the piano.
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you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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