dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
