I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I came so hard my ears popped.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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