Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
