So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
