Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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