go do what you do best...puke behind churches
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
