If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
