so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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