Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
