she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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