im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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