I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
