After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so that wasnt chicken after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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