it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
