he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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