I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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