If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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